[Note: This feature will inform you about some of the craziest fetishes that you’ve most likely never heard about. A fetish is an unusual (sometimes acquired) method of sexual arousal, usually centered upon an object or an idea that mainstream society declares taboo. People actually get their jollies off of this stuff and you’ll be shocked… Unless of course, you’re into that.]
As far as Eproctophiles are concerned, Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” is their porn. That’s right. These people probably jack off to that infamous and lengthy cowboy farting scene. And since farting gets them horny, cabbage and beans are most certainly a staple on their daily menu.
This was originally posted over at Destructoid.com for a contest…
This is my entry for Aborto Fetus’s Swag Giveaway Contest that ends this Thursday (so, don’t even bother). He started the contest in honor of the XBLA re-release of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 which is hands down, my FAVORITE fighting game ever. Speaking of, remind me to purchase it so I can partake in some FNF with the rest of you guys as soon as my account is no longer suspended… >_>
Anyway, I chose Spawn, Carnage and Pyramid Head for a lot of obvious and specific reasons. One of those reasons I picked them is because I’ve always been a little naughty at heart. Harley Quinn is my idol and I’d love to kill time and boredom like Bad Girl does. So knowing that, OF COURSE I would want a tag team of some of the most ruthless, violent (and just plain bad ass) guys around. I think that these three are THE Ultimate Tag Team around and it’d take massive firepower as well as a listening God to take all three of them down.
Spawn is possibly one of the coolest comic book characters ever in existence. That’s just fact right there but believe it or not, I chose him for more than one reason. I picked him mainly because of his awesome suit. His shroud, spikes, chains, and skulls are all part of an organism bonded to his central nervous system that will protect him. A part of his physical powers actually come from his suit. He can transform the shroud into a battle axe to cut every one of his foe’s limbs off with ease. The shroud itself is an effective offensive weapon that’s able to strike in battle with extreme precision, severing limbs, and disarming enemies.
Spawn’s vast magical powers are especially amazing, though. His body is composed of 450 pounds of Necroplasm which is what gives him superhuman strength and durability. When harmed, his internal organs magically re-appear when he regenerates his wounds kind of like Wolverine from X-Men. He’s uses his abilities wisely, relying primarily on his suit’s natural abilities or weapons rather than the magical abilities during combat. Spawn can also resurrect the dead, fire blasts of Necroplasmic energy at his enemies (HE WILL SHOOT YOU WITH LAZERZ!!), teleport, shift his shape, and cure the sick. He’s practically immortal unless beheaded by a weapon of heaven AND GOOD LUCK FINDING ONE!!
Having the spawn of hell in MVC3 would be the shit because (like Jill) I could just sick a legion of corpses on enemies to take care of my light work. Then I’ll chop off the limbs and shoot the rest.
Carnage was born for annihilating everything in his waking path. As a child, he pushed his grandmother down the stairs, tortured his dog and burnt down his orphanage. So, if you haven’t noticed, he’s kind of fucked in the head which makes him a perfect part of my Ultimate Tag Team. He’s bloodthirsty and unstoppable. Carnage is way stronger than Spider Man and Venom combined. He can shape-shift, create weapons like knives and axes with his symbiote and insert crazy ideas into people’s heads. He can crawl like Spider Man so he’s just as agile and can kill and get away with ease. Also, he can regenerate when wounded and is immune to infection and disease. In your face, AIDS!!
Carnage even developed an immunity to the sonic booms that symbiotes are usually vulnerable to so that means you can’t just ring a big ass Liberty bell to stop him. It’s obvious why I picked Carnage; he is insane and just does whatever the hell he wants for the taste of blood. He kills mainly for his own pleasure, but also sees it as a form of art. And to put the icing on top of the morbid cake, Carnage is known for writing “Carnage Rules” on the walls with his victim’s blood. Yeah, just try to stop him. Also also, don’t forget, recruiting Carnage and having him on my good side also lets me use his army of psychopathic super villains including Shriek, Demogoblin, Carrion, and Doppelganger. Booyahhhh.
If he was in MVC3, he wouldn’t even have a real moveset, you couldn’t even control him, he would just strike on his own whenever the hell he felt like. That’s how much of a bad ass he is.
If anyone who has played Silent Hill could describe Pyramid Head in one word, they would all say the same thing, “Baaaad.” It just slips off the tongue. “Baaaaad” just happens to be the word that fits the most with Pyramid Head. He doesn’t have to own a huge arsenal of weaponry to kill you, just one long sharp and fear-inducing knife to rip you apart. Pyramid Head murders his victims in extremely painful and violent manners both physically and mentally.
Just remember…
Don’t deny that you’re secretly jealous of the mannequins he constantly has his way with. Pyramid Head’s sex appeal alone could be my only reason for picking him. Plus, you can’t say “no” to Pyramid Head without having a gaping asshole that resembles bloody lunchmeat when you walk away. He is a vindictive murdering rapist with a demented mind and a slow swagger. Not to mention that it’s Rape O’ Clock all of the time on his watch so if you don’t want to get brutally beaten AND RAPED, then don’t fuck with my Ultimate Tag Team.
If Pyramid Head was in MVC3, he’d just stand there menacingly and get hit points. When he feels like it, he’ll tackle his foe and butt rape would ensue. Afterwards, he’ll just cut you.
So, those are my picks. The rules for the contest was that the entries had to include at least one video game character and at least one comic book character. I was thinking of taking the easy route and including Spider Man for his endless abilities or Master Chief because of his shooting skills and cool weapons but those guys are too predictable and to be honest, a little too boring for me. No offense to both because I do love them but I want people to FEAR my posse. These three are the epitome of “FEAR” and they are practically unstoppable. Plus…
What’s more scarier than an axe in your skull, a dislocated jaw and the smell of rape? Nothing.
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PS: This contest really let the comic book loving geek in me come out to play so I kind of nerdgasmed, deciding to make a couple of slideshows to tribute my Ultimate Tag Team. If you want, you can check them out. They’re really not that interesting though lol.
[Note: This feature will inform you about some of the craziest fetishes that you’ve most likely never heard about. A fetish is an unusual (sometimes acquired) method of sexual arousal, usually centered upon an object or an idea that mainstream society declares taboo. People actually get their jollies off of this stuff and you’ll be shocked… Unless of course, you’re into that.]
Vomit makes us vomit, right? Well, not people who practice emetophilia. The act of throwing up, especially on a sexual partner, is the biggest of turn-ons for emetophiles. Also called a Roman shower, after the induced vomiting that was supposed to be a staple of those debauched Roman feasts.
[Note: In this feature, "Riot Monster Bites Into..." you'll most likely find an interesting article that I stumbled upon that has to do with a topic I love.]
Hey guys, I don’t have much to talk about today but I did come across an interesting article that I wanted to share with whoever reads this blog.
Today, I’m biting into the amazing (and possibly deadly) topic of Sex.
Here’s what I tasted on Listaholic.
It is not uncommon for people to keel over and die of a heart attack or a stroke during sex. In very much the same way that some drop dead while jogging or playing tennis, a lot of people have been reported to have bitten the big one in the middle of doing the best exercise of them all.
There have been, however, actual cases of sex and death that are decidedly more bizarre and gruesome than your usual cardiac arrest. And probably more painful too. But then again, the fact that they died in the throes of ecstasy already guarantees that they’ve already gone to heaven, whether their souls are actually headed there or not.
For Jose Agustin Noh, working at a funeral home had its benefits, namely, access to facilities that normal people wouldn’t dare imagine to have sex in, like hearses, for instance. But unfortunately for him and his girlfriend, Ana Maria Camara Suarez, their tryst inside a hearse ended in tragedy when carbon monoxide snuffed out their lives while they were sleeping their sex session off. As it turned out, the couple from Campeche, Mexico left the motor running in order to have air conditioning.
Kirsten Taylor, a 29-year-old woman from Pennsylvania, died when her husband Toby clipped an electrical cord to her and plugged it into a power strip which he then turned on and off during a night of bizarre sex, which apparently was a usual thing for the couple. No word on whether or not Mr. Taylor was plugged into his wife as he shocked her to death.
A couple in Namibia were killed when an all-terrain vehicle and a truck ran them over as they were lying on the road. The driver of the truck claims the two were having sex right there in the middle of the road, “a typical example of people indulging in alcohol”, he says. See, sex and alcohol really don’t mix.
Here’s a real-life case of a man screwing a woman to death-literally. Robert Ashitey, a 30-year-old man from Aflao, Ghana, is one really horny dude. He didn’t realize his partner, a 75-year-old woman named Suametor Denou, had already died in the middle of their grueling sex bout, and continued pounding her hard. A woman who apparently takes care of the poor old lady had walked in on the scene and screamed at Ashitey to stop, but he continued going at it anyway. She had to whack him on the forehead with a stick to make him stop.
We’ve heard of thrill-seeking couples having sex in the most dangerous of places, but no one were as daring as Mduduzi Michael Bandezi and Sibongile Radebe, a couple who decided to go at it on a supposedly unused railway in South Africa and were promptly crushed by a freight train. The train driver repeatedly hooted but to no avail, as the two “continued with their business”. It is interesting to note that Mr. Bandezi’s half-naked body was found with a condom still on. Good to know he practiced safe sex.
Brent Tyler and Chelsea Tumbleston, both 21, fell 50 feet to their deaths from the rooftop of a building in Columbia, South Carolina. A cabbie found their naked bodies on the street, and subsequent police investigation revealed clothing was discovered on the roof, strongly suggesting the two were engaged in some mile-high, in this case 50-foot-high, club activity.
A man was killed after getting sodomized by a horse at a ranch in Enumclaw, Washington in July 2005. The man, whose colon and other lower organs were ruptured as a result of the fatal sex act, was actually a client of a bestiality ring that catered to men who wanted sex with animals.
[Note: This feature will inform you about some of the craziest fetishes that you’ve most likely never heard about. A fetish is an unusual (sometimes acquired) method of sexual arousal, usually centered upon an object or an idea that mainstream society declares taboo. People actually get their jollies off of this stuff and you’ll be shocked… Unless of course, you’re into that.]
Rape is a person’s worst nightmare, but falling victim to a sick bastard who enjoys Anthropophagolagnia is a fate worse than rape, or even death, for that matter. You see, those who practice Anthropophagolagnia rape their victims, then eat them. Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer is basically the poster boy for these twisted fucks.
[Note: This feature will inform you about some of the craziest fetishes that you’ve most likely never heard about. A fetish is an unusual (sometimes acquired) method of sexual arousal, usually centered upon an object or an idea that mainstream society declares taboo. People actually get their jollies off of this stuff and you’ll be shocked… Unless of course, you’re into that.]
